Jose Hilton and his girlfriend have asked for an apology and retraction over reports that they have split up, or that she has kicked him out of the house.

So here is the official JAHL apology:

• I’m sorry you drink Jack Daniels
• I’m sorry for whatever you catch from Her Hiltonness (perhaps a cold that will keep you out of action for half a season)
• I’m sorry you can’t catch a puck
• I’m sorry your hair is or isn’t falling out
• I’m sorry you can’t stand on ice in your driveway
• I’m sorry you couldn’t have your mask repainted to reflect your new team, even though you had ample time while recovering from a broken foot

There you have it. I hope the apologies are accepted. And the next time you don’t like the spotlight, perhaps you can do what a lot of players here in Colorado do. Avoid it.