Sometimes the gauntlet gets thrown down in the hockey blog universe, and even with the hockey love on your side, you have to respond. Like a child being told that it isn’t worth it, I will still give as well as I have taken.

IwoCPO at A2Y started the bile and hatred of the season with his first of many, “Why My Wings Are Better Than Your…” It was a childish rant, more along the lines of a detailed list of hopes and dreams, powered by whimsy and self-deception. I wish things were easier for IwoCPO, but he is in Michigan, home of the wish-we-were-Canadians. I shouldn’t bag on him too much, as half of my traffic to this blog comes from him alone, sitting in front of his computer, shaking his fist, yelling phrases like, “What the hell is a Tapeleg?!?!?!” Sad.

But this offseason has been pretty tame, allowing the loathing for my Trifecta of Evil (Wings, Canucks, and Devils) to settle like a vinaigrette dressing (my metaphor engine is down today). This is when you look to your fellow man to bring all the hate, anger, and fury that is totally unreasonable to the surface.

So, without further meandering, I give you, Why the Avalanche are so much better than the Red Wings.

Goaltending: HAsek. (that is not a typo, I laugh every time I hear his name) Come on. He could lose a puck in the crows feet around his eyes. I know he was the goaltender of the Wings for some successful campaigns, but come on. If this were a production of A Christmas Carol, he would play the Ghost of Excuses Past. Osgood? Why is it he can only play well with the Wings? Oh, yeah. Because he sucks out loud, and has needed a good team in front of him to get the job done. The least heard phrase in St. Louis when he was there? “Great save by Osgood!” You know I don’t care for Theodore, but he at least doesn’t need a defenseman to skate the old man into goal. Both teams are in wait and see mode, but at least ours isn’t collecting Social Security.

Offense: No. Simply put, you are wrong. While the Wings were off in Europe during the lockout, the Avs were home getting fat and lazy (not Tkachuk fat, but still…). It hurt the team, especially players like Super Joe. That isn’t the case. The Avs may not have a few of the guns from last year, but Svatos is back, Wolski is a terror, and Brunette is underrated. You have….someone… who is it? I’m looking at the scoresheets from last years playoffs and NO ONE STANDS OUT. I’ll get back to you.

Defense: Are you seriously going to pick on Liles? Really? He put up Rob Blake like points, took less penalties, had a better shot %, and still is faster skating backwards than most Wings (that last one, I can’t prove. It just sounds good). You have the Norris Trophy winner, sure, but he probably gets tired dragging Chelios around by a tow rope. Chelios. He really had a great World Cup of Hockey in 2004. He got to play, while staying five feet from the boards at all times. He should have been on my side of the glass. Of course he resigned. The Motor City Mechanics aren’t around this year.

4) Fans, hockey knowledge, overall attitude toward hockey: Yeah, right. You own hockey, I keep forgetting. We know nothing about hockey. That is dumber than you think we are. That’s like saying you know nothing about clean air (oh, never mind). Yeah, our fans suck. We are horrid people who only come out to games to continue the SELLOUT STREAK. We know nothing about hockey, because we don’t come from an Original Fix city. Keep fooling yourself. We’ll let you. This is more childish than ending an argument by screaming “Gordie Howe!!!” Come and actually talk to some of the fans. You could be surprised.

5) Tradition: Who needs tradition when you win the cup in the first year in town. That’s something you can bank on. Then you do it again five years later. Wings won back to back cups, I know. After 42 years of not having it. And we didn’t need the hated rival to win it to get a kick in the pants and do something about it. Red Wings tradition comes with a healthy dose of Blackhawks like losing. The 1996 Stanley Cup Victory video was on the other day. Avs looked good. Still do.

I do want to say that in his post, IwoCPO did not tear me nor JAHL a new one. He was rather complimentary, but I can not rebut what he posted without taking it to him somewhat. So I want him to know how much I appreciate this opportunity to get the rivalry back where it belongs, red hot and mad. Go to Abel2Yzerman, check out his blog, for it is worthy of high praise. And you get to keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, without that awful Detroit smell.

And, did I hear the IwoCPO lives in Memphis? I think he has all the making of a River Kings blog going.

BTW: If you think this post is going to piss off Wings fans, just wait. I’m cobbling together some honesty that will hurt. Oh yes, there will be pain.

Technorati : Avalanche, Avs, Colorado, Detroit, Hasek, Liles, Wings, rivalry