Season Previews, Twitter Style: 30 Teams in 1 Day

If you could chart the how long a post has to be for it to fall under the tl/dr (too long / didn’t read) banner over the years, it would probably take a serious downward slope over the last year or so. I know that I don’t have enough time to read as many hockey blogs as I would like, and there are more and more hockey blogs every day (I’m not going to get into a ‘back in the old days’ rant, but I think I may have to some day soon, for my own sake). It’s probably part of the reason Twitter is so popular, with short little blasts that can sometimes get the point across (minus the tone).

On top of that, everyone is doing a season preview. And how many season previews do we need? When the twenty players (and three healthy scratches) hit the ice, most previews will have gone out the door. Much like the best laid plans, they have nothing to do with reality when the puck drops.

So how many previews do you need?

One more, of course.

This is a pocket sized preview of all thirty teams, in 140 characters each. Every one a twitter sized nugget in one place. I presume that I don’t have to tell you how twitter nomenclature works, or what a hashtag is. Thirty team previews, everything you need to know, all in one place. Enjoy.

Atlantic

New Jersey Devils – One guy won’t make all the difference, but it certainly will help. Lots of questions in goal now, the old get older. #1stRoundExitAgain #Lou

New York Islanders – Like Battlestar Galactica, they tell you there is a plan, but it never seems to form. A new building won’t solve everything. #IsDiPietroBack

New York Rangers – The circus is in town. Cap management by way of The Office, there isn’t a player they won’t overpay. #AveryIs… #ReddenToMinors #Torts

Philadelphia Flyers – Did this team get better in the offseason? Did they have to? Goalies won’t get any respect, but are trying to earn it. #ProngerLikesPucks

Pittsburgh Penguins -When you can get guys to take a pay cut to play with Crosby, you will have success. Rotating supporting cast for the big guys. #Flower

Northeast

Boston Bruins – A huge monkey on their back, it will loom the entire season. Thomas will be back to checking guys while Chara won’t. Potential. #Seguin

Buffalo Sabres – One day, this team will return to glory. This doesn’t look like the year. What will it take to kick them in the pants? #MillerTime #Defense?

Montreal Canadiens – Nice to see the Habs have a goalie. What else to they have? Some character, not much excitement. #GeorgeLaraqueMustHaveBeenTheProblem #Right

Ottawa Senators – The Senators would have an easier time winning the Grey Cup. This team can’t buy luck, or trade for a goalie. #SpezzaDrama

Toronto Maple Leafs – It’s truculence and Phaneuf vs. reality. Who will win? Putting my money on reality. Remade team in a classic Burke image, may just make P/O

Southeast

Atlanta Thrashers – This isn’t your Thrashers of old. A legitimate shot at the playoffs with this roster, but they will be battling a Cup hangover. #KovyWho?

Carolina Hurricanes – I don’t know. Probably out of the playoffs again. How many Staals can you fit on one team? Cam Ward will have to carry the team #2staals1cup

Florida Panthers – You can’t even sit in the cheap seats. There’s been a lot of talk of remaking the team, and Tallon may do it, but it will take more time.

Tampa Bay Lightning – A very improved team. Yzerman has done his job, now lets see what the coach can do. TBL got what they needed. #DanEliisProblems #ShutYoMouth?

Washington Capitals – Goalies have a lot to prove. Of course they will make the playoffs. But to go deep? Maybe. Defense is decent, but offense is sizzling.

Central
Chicago Blackhawks – Wouldn’t it be nice if the Blackhawks made a legit push for the Cup? Yeah, and if puppies would learn to take out the trash. #NotGonnaHappen

Columbus Blue Jackets – Will the real Steve Mason please stand up? Many good elements, and a new coaching staff that needs to make them play as a team #CoachHinote?

Detroit Red Wings – If they can stay healthy, they will be a dangerous team. But they aren’t getting any younger, and ‘certain players’ are still hanging around

Nashville Predators – What will it take for this team to stop being average? No team needs a top three draft pick more. #BetterCaptain

St. Louis Blues – I know there are NHL players on this team, but I just can’t name any. Goalie issues solved?

Northwest

Calgary Flames – Hey guys, were getting the band back together, but the bass player sucks, and the drummer is bad in the locker room. #PhaneufWasTheIssue

Colorado Avalanche – The song remains the same. It’s almost the Kings model, but less activity. Proof of youth, or another high draft pick? #ConsistancyNeeded

Edmonton Oilers – Oilers should miss the playoffs again. They need to, so they can get a few more good players. Re-Khab could be an issue. #OKCOilers #AHLTeam

Minnesota Wild – I’m sorry, did I fall asleep? I know they did something, but I don’t know what. Reduced ticket prices? #ItsLikeTheyDontCare

Vancouver Canucks – A few free agency moves will make up for FA losses. But the issues are larger than a few people. Everything starts with Bobby Lou. #Twins

Pacific

Anaheim Ducks – Selanne’s back, Kariya isn’t, and nothing else changed. But man, they are raring to go. Still a solid core, but what will be different? #Meh

Dallas Stars – Seriously, how could they have done nothing? The minors are pilfered already, and they are no better in goal. #DefenseWasTheProblem #StillIs

Los Angeles Kings – Losing out on KovalBucks could have been the best thing for them. The future is bright & experience is what this team needs. #TheFutureIsNow

Phoenix Coyotes – Will someone just buy this team? They can build on last season, didn’t need many more pieces. A few cheap forwards away from good things.

San Jose Sharks – How do you spell revenge? S-H-A-R-K-S. Offer sheet and Niemi will teach those ‘Hawks. Will goalie changes be enough? #SharksJumped

That does it. If you have twitter previews, I would love to see them. Throw them in the comments.

Comments

  1. Aw, no #ThrowTheSnake for Phoenix? :)

    Dead right about Dallas, though.

  2. Eddie Garcia says:

    J. Saw you got linked on Puck Daddy. Nice.
    -Eddie

  3. Matt – And to be honest, #ThrowTheSnake didn’t even come into my mind. I had forgotten all about it.

    Eddie – And a few other places as well. I’m happy people enjoyed it. It was fun to write.

  4. I can’t believe it took me so long to remember to come check out your twitter style team reviews! Great work, funny and succinct!

    Terry

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