Yes, another hockey night script. These are little scenes, written in the style of Aaron Sorkin, of Sports Night, West Wing, and Studio 60. Enjoy.

EXT. HOCKEY ARENA
The team is loading up on a bus to go from the practice facility to the arena. DAN is coming out to the bus, but TED intercepts him.

TED
Hey, wait. We need to talk.

DAN
So talk.

TED
Have you seen your card?

DAN
Card?

TED
Yeah, your card.

DAN
It’s not my birthday, so I don’t know what exactly you’re talking about. What card?

TED
Your hockey card.

DAN
No, which card?

TED
Upper Deck Be A Gamer came out today. Did you see it?

DAN
They sent me a picture to approve, so yes.

TED
But you haven’t seen the card yet?

DAN
I haven’t held the actual card in my hand yet.

TED
(takes out a card and hands it to DAN)
Here

DAN
Yeah, this is the picture I saw.

TED
Look at the back.

DAN
What? What’s the…
(beat)
Five-eleven?

TED
That’s what you needed to see.

DAN
I’m not five eleven.

TED
The Upper Deck trading card company seems to think so.

DAN
I’m six-one.

TED
I know.

DAN
And this came out today?

TED
Yeah.

DAN
Aw, man.
(beat)
Who else knows about it?

TED
Well…

COACH
(from the bus)
Ted, you and the midget get on the bus!

DAN
Oh, no.

TED
I told him you guys prefer to be called little people.

DAN
I hate you.

TED
Don’t hate me, hate the Upper Deck company.

DAN
(yells at bus)
Really sensitive, Coach.

COACH
(yelling back)
Don’t forget your stepladder!

DAN
This is going to be a long day, isn’t it?

TED
For you, maybe.

Technorati : Fun, Hockey

Hockey Night is a take off on Sports Night, which was written by Aaron Sorkin (West Wing, Studio 60) . Sorkin has a very distinct style. After the first post, I thought about what else I would do with another scene. It’s pretty fun to write, and so I share.
INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE OF VISITORS DRESSING ROOM OF A LARGE HOCKEY ARENA
DAN is standing outside of the locker room, pacing a bit, waiting for Ted, who shows up now.

DAN
Hey.

TED
Hey.

DAN
Can we talk?

TED
Yeah.

DAN
Out here.
(they walk to the stands. on the way…)

TED
Hey, I was eating with Hacksaw, and you know what he did? He ordered a salad, and instead of chicken on it, he tried to order tofu.

DAN
(stops) Why do you always do that?

TED
Do what?

DAN
I want to talk to you, and before I can, you start talking about something entirely different.

TED
I’m making conversation.

DAN
We’re about to have a conversation. You are making conversation on the way to a conversation?

TED
Yes.

DAN
Why?

TED
I don’t know. It just fills the time a little.

DAN
Just stop doing it, alright?

TED
OK.

DAN
(beat) Really? Tofu?

TED
Yeah.

DAN
But he’s a big boy. What, 220?

TED
230.

DAN
Tofu.

TED
Yeah.

DAN
On a salad?

TED
I know.

DAN
Huh. (beat) I think I’m getting traded.

TED
Why do you think that.

DAN
It’s a vibe I have.

TED
A vibe.

DAN
Yeah, a vibe.

TED
What kicked off this vibe?

DAN
What, I can’t just have a vibe? I can’t just get a feeling for this kind of thing?

TED
No, you can’t. You never do. Something happens, or someone says something, and all of a sudden, you start going completely neurotic and obsessive about it. Remember when you tripped over the blue line on the breakaway last month. You avoided things that were blue for weeks. Your sticks are blue. So no, you can not have a vibe. It isn’t healthy. Now, tell me what happened.

DAN
After the game yesterday, one of the reporters asked me what I thought about the Kings.

TED
(pause) And?

DAN
He asked me about the Kings.

TED
Dan.

DAN
I wasn’t thinking anything about the Kings, but then I did start thinking about the Kings, and realized I would be a good fit for them on the second line, and we could use a defensman or two, which they have about thirty or so in their system. It would be the perfect fit.

TED
Dan.

DAN
I don’t know what this guy knows, but he knew something. I’m getting traded.

TED
This was yesterday?

DAN
Yes.

TED
Do you remember the guys name?

DAN
Al something.

TED
Al Shorner?

DAN
Yeah, that was it. Al Shorner.

TED
Al Shorner, who writes for the L.A. Register.

DAN
He does?

TED
Yeah, he does. You know we play L.A. in a week, right?

DAN
We do?

TED
Yes.

DAN
So what was he doing there? We weren’t in L.A. What gives?

TED
We were in Anaheim.

DAN
Huh. (beat) It was the way he asked.

TED
(starts walking back to the dressing room) You need help.

DAN
(to himself) Huh.
(beat)
Tofu.

FADE OUT

Inspired by Ken Levine and his Sorkin post

I have been watching Sports Night, the Aaron Sorkin TV show, lately. Sorkin is better known for his writing on West Wing, which has a similar pace.  If you watch Sports Night with several episodes back to back, you see a lot of hockey references in it. There is usually something hockey brought up in a show, and if not, it is usually playing on a TV in the background at some point. If you missed it when it first aired, you can get both seasons in one set on DVD. You should.

With that in mind, I give you the opening to Hockey Night, as would be written by Aaron Sorkin. (the inspiration for this is credited at the bottom. suffer through this to get there)
TWO HOCKEY PLAYERS ARE IN PRE-GAME WARMUPS, STRETCHING AND SKATING. DIALOG IS DELIVERED QUICK AND TIGHT, EXCEPT WHERE NOTED.

DAN
Man, My allergies.

TED
Yeah?

DAN
And these fans.

TED
Fans?

DAN
Well look at them.

TED
What’s to look at?

DAN
Exactly.

TED
(looks around) Why do we come here?

DAN
Why?

TED
Yeah, why.

DAN
Why do we come to Montreal, or why do we come to these warm ups?

TED
Pick one.

DAN
Well, we come to these warm ups because it’s our job.

TED
And to Montreal?

DAN
The cheese fries.

TED
(rolls eyes) Dan, you can’t call them cheese fries

DAN
Why not? They’re fries with cheese.

TED
Granted, they are fries with cheese, but calling them that could cause an international incident to rival the “War of 1812″

DAN
Did you just use quote fingers around the War of 1812?

TED
(slightly defensive) Yeah.

DAN
The War of 1812 was a real thing, you know.

TED
Yeah, I heard. It happened somewhere in the eighteen hundreds, I forget when. Oh, wait, it’s coming back to me.

DAN
So you agree that the War of 1812 is a real thing.

TED
Who doesn’t?

DAN
Look, all I’m saying is they are fries, and they have cheese in them.

TED
On them.

DAN
What?

TED
They have cheese on them.

DAN
What did I say?

TED
They have cheese in them.

DAN

Oh. (beat) But they are fries with cheese.

TED
OK. Granted, but they are more than that.

DAN
Like what?

TED
They are fries with cheese…and gravy.

DAN
And that is why we come here.

TED
Not me.

DAN
No?

TED
Nope. I come here for the hockey.

DAN
The hockey?

TED
Well we are hockey players.

DAN
See, you could put “quotes” around that.

TED
(ignoring him) Yep, the pure excitement of the game. The thrill of victory and the agony of the shootout. The sound of the skates, and the smell of the ice.

DAN
The smell of the ice?

TED
The smell of the ice.

DAN
Are you telling me that the ice here smells different than anywhere else?

TED
I am. You should smell it.

DAN
I am not smelling it.

TED
You are going to smell it.

DAN
I am not going to smell it.

TED
You are.

DAN
What makes you so sure that I am going to smell it?

TED
If you don’t do it now, you will when you’re sprawled out, face down, under a pile of Canadiens, after you “accidentally” trip the goaltender, which, I will remind you, somehow ended up with you getting a double minor, and costing us the game.

DAN
(pointing) Hey… That was a clean play. (pause. smells ice) I don’t smell anything.

TED
That, my friend, is the smell of hockey.

DAN
Everywhere smells like hockey.

TED
Yes, but here it smells French.

DAN
And maybe Canadian? You know they are combining those these days.

TED
(looking over at the other team)Hey, isn’t that Josh McCormick.

DAN
(beat) Yep.

TED
Didn’t you two…?

DAN
Yep.

TED
And weren’t you two…?

DAN
Uh-huh.

TED
So… what?

DAN
We got into a fight.

TED
What a real fight?

DAN
Yes, a real fight.We dropped the gloves, got bloody, all of it. We got into a fight.

TED
A fight.

DAN
A fight.

TED
(beat) Was it over her?

DAN
You know what? I don’t even remember.

TED
(skeptical, letting it go, but not really) OK.

DAN
Look, I’m not worried about Josh. Not right now.

TED
What are you worried about?

DAN
(looks out into the crowd) These fans.

TED
And your allergies?

DAN
They do go hand in hand.

(they skate off) FADE TO BLACK

With a shout out for inspiration from Ken Levine (his is better, read it)

Technorati : Hockey, Humor