Mmmmmm….Burrito…..
Today,VancouverCanucksOpEd pokes fun of the Avalanche’s Chipotle blimp flying around the rink. Before reading on, I really suggest you go over there right now, and take a quick read of the post. Just like you’d expect from Canuck’s fans, it has big pictures, and mostly small words. I’ll wait while you read.
Back so soon?
Of course, upon seeing this, I had to go right out and support my Avalanche by eating a burrito. A very tasty one, with chicken and salsa, garnished with a little Smoked Tabasco sauce. Very satisfying. I could almost taste the consecutive sellout streak, or even a Joe Sakic wrist shot. Made me proud to be an Avs fan.
What disturbs me is the apparent promotion of whale consumption by the Canucks. The Avs put a finely wrapped burrito in the air, and I get hungry for burritos. Simple, easy, connect the dots stuff, right? The Canucks put a whale in the air, and what happens? Fans get hungry for whale. But look at that whale. There is no indication of where to go to get said whale. Is Robert Luongo bringing a chain of whale fast food joints to Vancouver? Probably not. So, to help support the team, what is your average fan to do? Get on a boat and hunt the whale down themselves? Not very practical. You don’t want your fans leaving the arena in the middle of the game, because some blimp flew by and now they hunger for whale. Is that really the time to find a boat that will take you whale hunting? And then what are they going to do? Eat a whole whale? I can eat a whole burrito (in fact, I just did). Are there whale sandwiches being sold in the arena? We don’t have whale burritos here.
What happens when Fin, the Canucks mascot walks by, after that whale ha been flying by all intermission. I’ll tell you, he’s gonna lose a leg (since when do whales have legs?). It’s going to be like Dawn of the Dead for whale mascots. And who pays the price? The fans. Always the fans. Suddenly, Fin needs a security detail, maybe a Plexiglas encased car like the Pope has. Now, it’s suddenly become a very dangerous job. And the insurance, don’t get me started on the insurance. Why do you want to eat the mascot, Canucks fans? Wouldn’t a nice, tasty burrito be so much better?
To VCOE, I extend the olive branch. I know you don’t understand our desire to eat burritos (in my time in Canada, it was near impossible to find a burrito, maybe because burritos = Avs). That’s OK. If you ever come to Colorado, I’ll take you out for one. But it would probably help if you free Willy.
PS: What about the floating octopus in Detroit. Ick.
8 responses to “I Have Returned, Well Fed, From the Burrito Emporium”
I’m pretty sure it’s only AVALANCHE FANS who dream of eating the mascot.
And are you telling me that a burrito is actually your mascot…?!
I suspect things are much, much better in Denver When You’re Dead. 🙂
Alanah,
We don’t fly mascots, we fly food. Flying food…yum.
Sorry man! I can’t tell what is more stupid, a flying burrito, or a whale mascot with legs! I’d say the Burrito!
But what the hell else are you going to fly around the arena when you’re called the ‘Avalanche’? Answer: nothing…or a giant slurpee, because it’s cold!
Burritos are taken very seriously here(or at least you can buy one). In my time spent in T.O., I found one Tex-Mex place. Believe me, it was neither.
Burritos are not the daily national food choice of Canada, admittedly. But I don’t think of Denver as the Tex-Mex hot-bed of America, either. Nor do I think flying-freakin’-burritos are something to brag about!
Madness.
I used to think that the Hardee’s Burger Races, at the 2003-04 Hurricanes home games, were the stupidest promotion EVAH. Boy, has that changed drastically…
I’ll take animated burgers sounding like racecars ANY DAY over a giant flying silver condom.
Yes. I know it’s a sausage. But seriously, that was the very first thing that came to my mind before I noticed it said “Chipotle”. And I just showed it to my brother, and he’s like “What the hell is THAT?!”.
The only thing that’s keeping me from losing my sanity over this is the fact that I’m not an Avs fan. BUT, that said, I certainly do feel sorry for those of you who are Avs fans.
If they *really* need to advertise Chipotle sausage, why don’t they just bring in that MLB rejected Chorizo sausage mascot? Anything, I repeat, ANYTHING is better than that silver thing.
Addenudum: Ok, I meant burrito. But, I *still* say the Chorizo sausage would make a more suitable advertisement. Afterall, both that and Chipotle are spicy Mexican foods. And hey, maybe they could make the Chorizo up to look like a burrito…being the same shape as one.
Don’t forget. The “burrito” drops coupons for free food. Mana from heaven.
(free food is not free whale)
Also, though not floating, you should see the giant Mongol, promoting BD’s Mongolinan BBQ, at the Motor City Mechanics games. After that, bring on the burritos.