There has been a lot of activity on the hockey jersey front lately, and I would be remiss in not bringing it to you. From the Bloggers you know and love:
Reality Check at Eyes on the Prize tells the tale of how a certain prized jersey came into his possession. Jerseys aren’t just clothes, they are stories too.
Post-Pessimist has a collection of game-worn jerseys from all over the world. He also gets best title: I Buy Clothing Worn By Other Men. He now also is a regular on Hockey Rants.
Roy at Wild Puck Banter has his list of top five jerseys. Oddly enough, his own Minnesota Wild are not on the list. But check out number 2. Wow.
Wicked Bruins Fan has a bit of news about the Bruins jerseys. A few changes for next season.
Ingmar at Ingmar Berman Shoots… And Scores!!! is a photoshop genius. Go and scroll around, click some links to jerseys on the right, and diffidently check out this one. And this one. How can I convince him to make a JAHL jersey?
As ever, I encourage you to click around these blogs, and read a few archived items. You don’t know what you might have missed.
Finally, Paul at Kukla’s Korner had a pointer to this article, in which a columnist at the San Francisco Chronicle tells us why we shouldn’t be wearing sports jerseys. Hockey jerseys are left alone, due to, I’m quite certain, the fact that they would have to endure my wrath. I wasn’t even asked for a rebuttal. But here it is:
“You, sir, are wrong. So there. And, you suck.”
So now we take the JAHL Hockey Jersey Quiz. This is how many hours a day you should be wearing a hockey jersey:
We start with a base of 0 hours and work our way up.
Is it the hockey season? Add 2 hours.
Is it game day? Add 3.5 hours.
Are you going to the game? add 2 hours.
Are you going to a home game? add drive time.
Are you going to an away game? Add 2 hours if you like to piss off the opposing fans, zero hours if you haven’t got the guts.
Are you going to the bar afterwords? Add all time at the bar, plus all time you don’t remember.
Are you allowed to wear a hockey jersey at work? Add all time worked, minus lunch break (No mustard stains on the jersey please)
Is it summer? Subtract all time spent outside (we aren’t slave drives here), unless you live above 7,000 feet, then subtract half the time spent outside.
Do you skate? Add all time on the ice.
Are you a woman? Add one quarter more hours to the total. Hockey jerseys look great on women.
Does the jersey have a name on the back? Add 1 hour
Is it an obscure player whose stats you can rattle off on demand? Add 1 hour, or 2 if you have lots of hubris.
Did the player on the back just move to another city? Add .5 hours
Did he move within your division? Never mind. That sucks.
Did he move to a hated rival? Cross out his name with red paint, and spray “sucks” over his number. There’s no use in wasting a perfectly good jersey.
Do you read books at home? Add all reading time. Why curl up in a blanket when you have a jersey?
Are you unhappy with the management of your team? Add 1 hour of out and about time. Tell anyone who brings up the team.
Are you Canadian? Subtract 2 hours. Why do you need to wear a jersey all day? You are hockey.
If you took this test, and have too many hours than are in a day, you should get another jersey. They go great with everything.
Huge Update: It turns out I didn’t have to convince Ingmar to make a JAHL jersey, he just went off and made one. With his permission, I’m going to add it to my blog, but until then, check it out here. This thing kicks serious ass.