In the style of Clerks, by Kevin Smith, I bring you…

Refs

INT. HOCKEY RINK
We are in a commercial time out, and the two refs skate over to the penalty box to get a drink of water.

JOHN
Can you believe that? Talk about obvious.

PETER
Yeah, good call there.

JOHN
Well, it was pretty obvious. I just never understand why they argue when it’s that obvious.

PETER
Hey, let me ask you something.

JOHN
Yeah?

PETER
Who do you think would be a better skater? Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker?

JOHN
Seriously?

PETER
Well, yeah.

JOHN
Vader.

PETER
What? You need your head checked.

JOHN
Hey, you asked.

PETER
Vader is so stiff.

JOHN
You’d be stiff in all that armor.

PETER
True, but come on. It’s Luke Skywalker.

JOHN
He came from a desert planet.

PETER
And they don’t have hockey in the desert?

JOHN
If you are going to use the Phoenix Coyotes as an argument in this, I think you should reevaluate your position.

PETER
OK, I’ll give you that, but he’s pretty good on his feet, he is a quick learner, and he’s got some serious drive. Kid’s a natural at everything he does.

JOHN
Let’s think about this for a moment. Vader has all this armor on. It has to weigh more then most goalie equipment out there. He has to have some sort of help staying balanced and upright.

PETER
What, like gyroscopes?

JOHN
Or whatever you have in a galaxy far, far away that works like a gyroscope. Something. Aside from that, he’s still a jedi, which means he has to kick some serious ass on his own.

PETER
True, but for pure speed and enthusiasm part of it, I have to give the edge to Skywalker.

JOHN
Enthusiasm only counts for so much. Vader has a veteran presence you just can’t deny. He owns the intangibles. And if he doesn’t own them, he is just the man to take them.

PETER
(puts the water bottle back)
Well, I wouldn’t want to be checked by him.

JOHN
Word.

PETER
But I wouldn’t want to be checked by Chewbacca either.

JOHN
(puts his water bottle back)
I don’t think I would worry about that.

PETER
Why not?

JOHN
(starts to skate off to the face off circle)
Everyone knows, wookies can’t skate.

Technorati : Hockey, Humor