I would be really bad at marketing the NHL. I mean, I think about hockey a lot (too much to be healthy, but don’t tell anyone), but I don’t think I could come up with much that would bring hockey to the public.
For instance:

NHL: Three letters from baseball.

Your momma loves the NHL so much, she’s got Jeremy Roenick on speed dial.

NHL: wanna make something of it?

NHL: Bring me the head of Ron Tugnutt (a personal favorite)

NHL: lockout tested, mother approved.

See, nothing there. I do think I would be good in the one job in marketing they could have used last year. They guy who tells the NHL, “No.” Aside from the asinine “My NHL” campaign, we got the “My Stanley Cup,” featuring players from both final teams. Really, Chris, is it your Stanley Cup? Dumb, dumb, dumb. How about Roenick doing a “My Skate Sharpening,” or Legace doing, “My Therapist Session?” Jesus, people. Didn’t they have a whole lockout to think of something, even if they didn’t have time to use the players by the time they got a deal?

For some reason, my RSS feed reader picked up this article, about the NHL hiring the marketing firm for the 2004-2005 season. Here’s an excerpt:

“The relaunch of the league is in some ways similar to the launch of a movie, so we think our effort to come back with Conductor in a big, powerful and cinematic way is very appropriate,” he said.

Kind of makes the “My NHL” ads and the “movie” (all the ads strung together to make one stupid storyline) a more understandable move. They hired a dumb ass company to do a dumb ass job. And that company fulfilled their dumb ass vision. I don’t know if the NHL are continuing to use them this year, but I hope not. What will we be enticed with next? NHL 2: Attack of the Sedin Clones?

Actually, I do think I have a good one. Samuel L. Jackson, standing on the ice, just looks into the camera, and says, “We got mother f#$@ing hockey players on a mother f$#@ing plane.” That will put some butts in some seats.