The old joke goes: An older couple are getting in to bed. The old woman takes off all her clothes and, in an inspired moment, leaps into bed on top of her husband, yelling, “Super Sex!” The old man looks at her and says, “I’ll have the soup.”

Have you seen the new NHL.com? Go there, it’s something we will be relying on for the season, know thy doom. Is it me, or is it way to hard to look at? Everything seems too jumbled together, the fonts are small, the little windows don’t really help, and the colors are reminiscent of the Buffaslug (was this Buffalo getting in line with the NHL look?). What I need is something I can read first thing in the morning, something that will punch through the haze that happens during my first cuppa joe. I need to be able to find stuff, and if I can’t, I go elsewhere. Hey, you know what doesn’t hurt? Scrolling down a little, getting past the huge banner ad and dumb ass picture thing you have to click on (Frozen Moment? I have no time for you). Can you imagine, getting up a 6:00am after a night out to the game, when you hit that sports bar afterwords to celebrate the (insert your team here) victory over the (insert hated rival, or just put Red Wings. It’s universal). You tied one on, so you need a little reminder of what happened at the game, and you click over to NHL.com to look at a box score, while the Advil kicks in. But you are greeted with a sight (site?) so painful, you can not look at it. Suddenly, your mind goes numb, football makes sense, and the Martians have moved one step closer to taking over the planet. Why the Martians? Because who else would come up with this crap? They are out to get you, and they will do it through NHL.com.

Just remember, fans. Hockey can be painful, but it doesn’t have to look this bad.

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